He loved her. He loved her. He loved her…but it wasn’t enough. He sat at the edge of their bed, head in his hands, as the tears fell and formed a small pool in the carpet. Part of him still believed she would be walking through the front door any second, throwing her keys on coffee table as she walked into the kitchen to find him. But she would no longer be coming home, she would never find him…she was gone.
I do not claim to know love,
But without a doubt it knows me,
It has studied my habits, my likes, and my weakness for honest brown eyes,
It knows how to make me feel blissful, heavenly, and carefree,
It knows how to conveniently vanish and makes me Jealousy the best company
I can’t control it, it controls me, the Grand Manipulator, schemer, a deceitful and loving
It’s my antidote, my cure, my disease and curse,
But I never reject it…the Friend who is only around for a good time but it is the best time when they are around.
I welcome its unpredictability.
We all have gifts that we bury within ourselves. Sometimes we do this intentionally, and other times we are blind to see that we have been hiding them beneath our very Soul. I have met many people in my life that overlook these gifts, and never notice they have been carrying them along Life’s journey. I’ve spent years overlooking my own and it wasnt until recently that I asked myself “What comes naturally to me?”. If we think we are a “certain something” or good at “something,” are we really? There is no fact to this, but we can use the affirmations and testimonials the world has given us to try to pinpoint potential prospects. And so I reflected on the things people had said about me: acquaintances, friends, employers, and strangers. Once when I was a teaching assistant at a preschool, a new substitute told me I had a “kind soul,” and that the children loved me. Her words turned my hectic day of running after naughty kids into one where I felt blessed to be able to care for such small and innocent live. And over the years other coworkers, friends and family have used words such as “kind, good listener, ambitious, beautiful soul, nice, creative, intense, strong, positive, aggressive and hippie-ish, and stubborn.” (I have chosen to leave out physical descriptions for the sake of this article and its meaning.) But, out of all those descriptions, there were several that stood out more than others:”positive.” I never considered myself a positive person, in fact I’ve always felt susceptible to seeing only the negative side of things. It took my years to change the way I felt and thought about situations I wasn’t comfortable with. For example, being around negative people: complainers, gossipers, whiny ones, and excuse makers made me feel drained and irritable to the point where I reacted unlike my TRUE self. And then it dawned on me…I thrived on positiveness and inspiring others to see the potential and good outcomes in life. Instead of saying “but” we can say “if.” It was rewarding to gain the trust of others and listen to their inner struggles. My active listening and giving them the chance unwind their tangle of problems allowed me to use my gift and gift them one as well: Relief.
My Mother’s eyes sparkled with emotions,
Untold secrets, boundless and unspoken,
Gray mists would cloud the windows to her soul,
And the rain drops almost fell,
The rain drops almost fell,
Into the well of All to Tell,
“This is why it hurts the way it hurts.
You have too many words in your head. There are too many ways to describe the way you feel. You will never have the luxury of a dull ache.
You must suffer through the intricacy of feeling too much.”
― pleasefindthis, I Wrote This For You
“Don’t bother trying to describe your emotions with words. Live everything as intensely as you can and keep whatever you felt as a gift. The best way to destroy the bridge between the visible and invisible is by trying to explain your emotions.”
― Paulo Coelho, Brida